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Absence makes our hearts grow fonder

A person holds a candle during the 2019 Easter Vigil at the Cathedral of St. Matthew the Apostle. Public Masses are not being held for the time being in churches in the Archdiocese of Washington in accordance with government restrictions aimed at preventing the spread of the coronavirus, so this year's Holy Week and Easter liturgies at St. Matthew's Cathedral had no congregation but were livestreamed on the archdiocese's YouTube channel. (Archdiocese of Washington photo/Jaclyn Lippelmann)

(This is the text of Msgr. John Enzler’s “Faith in Action”column for April 16 for the Catholic Standard newspaper and website of the Archdiocese of Washington.)

I hope you had a blessed Holy Week and Easter and were able to celebrate and recognize God’s incredible love for us in Jesus’ death and Resurrection. We did the best we could amid difficult circumstances, and I suspect it made us all more aware of what is missing in our lives right now.

On a practical and very personal level, I know people who are now missing jobs and have no ability to support themselves in the short term because of furloughs, layoffs, and even the closing of their businesses.

I know people who miss seeing their loved ones. I hear from spouses and children of those in nursing homes about how lonely it is for their loved ones to have no visitors for a month. One friend told me how difficult it is when her Mom says to her simply, “Why don’t you come visit me anymore?” She is in her 90s, it’s very sad that she may feel abandoned and that her children cannot see her.

I know people who are struggling because they have lost loved ones. There’s a profound sense of pain and a lack of closure because they could not be with their loved ones during the final hours. I also know of people who have died in the last month whose families have not yet been able to hold funerals.

I know people who have had to postpone or cancel weddings, including my nephew.

I know people missing their health as they deal with the virus itself. We have a few members of our staff, thankfully not many, who have been diagnosed with COVID-19. I pray they will be fine. We also have clients with COVID-19, particularly one in a shelter who is very sick. Others await the results of tests.

We all miss the simple ability to socialize with others. We can’t see our friends. We can’t visit with neighbors. We can’t go out and enjoy a meal at a restaurant.

I miss all those things as well, although I am blessed to be healthy, to work at a great place like Catholic Charities, and to have a wonderful place to live in the rectory at St. Bart’s. Many aren’t so fortunate.

As the impacts of the areawide shutdown build, the number of people seeking food has dramatically increased. We’ve seen an eight-fold increase at our Spanish Catholic Center in the Mount Pleasant neighborhood of Washington, D.C., and it seems to grow exponentially every week. We’ve struggled to help people stay an appropriate distance from each other as they naturally move closer and closer to make sure they get food.

Out of concern for the safety of volunteers and clients, we have diminished our volunteer corps dramatically. This is a painful decision, because it’s a time of need when people want to help and feel good about volunteering. One of our volunteers has been infected by the virus, and I again pray for a full recovery. We hope to have opportunities available soon.

We held a Holy Week Virtual Food Drive, which was very successful. We are using the donations to purchase and hand out grocery gift cards to people who need them. This is helping reduce the lines and the wait times and is still allowing us to help those who need food on their tables. The Church of Latter-Day Saints is sharing from their food bounty with us. We had a call today and expect to receive 40,000 pounds of staple foods later this week. We are very grateful for the ecumenical spirit of other faith groups who are walking this journey with us.

Our shelters remain open 24/7, unlike normal times when they are open only 5 p.m. –  9 a.m. I am so proud of our staff members who do so much without complaint. They are among the heroes of this crisis. In an online meeting last week, I told our board members that our staff is “amazing, exceptional, dedicated, committed, professional, skilled, responding to a great calling, and making great sacrifices.” I am thankful for and blessed by these talented people, some 900 strong, who go out every day at some risk to themselves to make a difference for those in need.

For me personally, I missed the ways in which Holy Week is so special. On Holy Thursday, we celebrate the Last Supper as well as the institution of the Eucharist and the priesthood. It was a big loss for me to not celebrate with our congregation, to not experience the washing of the feet and the call to service, and to not gather with my fellow priests to rededicate ourselves to our vows.

I am moved every Good Friday by people walking up in great love to reverence the cross. It is one of the most poignant and beautiful scenes in the Church, and I was sad to miss it this year. I enjoyed participating in the liturgies of the Triduum with Archbishop Gregory at a distance, but I missed celebrating in person with our community.

I missed the uplifting experience of individuals joining our Church at the Easter Vigil. They must wait for another day, which we hope will come very soon. I missed seeing so many people at Easter Sunday Mass. I always love the smiles on their faces, their sense of joy, the festive attire, the wonderful music, and families being together.

I missed a chance to be with my own family at Easter, which is a tradition. We gather twice a year at the St. Bart’s rectory, some 20 or 30 strong – my brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews – to celebrate Thanksgiving and Easter. This was the first time we were unable to do so, and I was sad to not see them and miss their love and care that I always enjoy.

We are all missing big and important parts of our lives right now. We feel a sense of grieving, loss, even pain. These are real to us. And yet, they also help me realize anew how much the Lord Jesus suffered for us through his scourging, his crown of thorns, and sacrificing his life on the cross.

May this pandemic end very soon. May those who are sick be restored to health, and may the Lord God bless each of us with a new spirit of appreciation and love for what’s most important in our lives.

I also pray that this experience will bring us all closer to the Eucharist. I think many of us take it for granted because it is widely available in our area. In some places, the Eucharist is celebrated once a month, or even less. We can receive it every single day if we want. After this forced separation, may we realize even more, how great a gift the Eucharist is and how much we need it. Maybe it will become an even bigger part of our lives.

One of my parishioners wrote me a note the other day that speaks of how much she misses what the Eucharist brings. It said simply: “We’ve just stopped by the church to pray. We just really miss you and our church community, something we will no longer take for granted.”

That’s the attitude I hope all of us have as we pray for an end to the coronavirus and this experience. When we are able to return, let’s come back to a greater faith in the Lord Jesus, a celebration of all that’s important to us, a deeper appreciation of the Eucharist, and gratitude for how Jesus comes to us each and every day with the gift of his love.

(Msgr. John Enzler serves as president and CEO of Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Washington.)

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