As the global coronavirus pandemic brought unforeseen difficulties to everyday life, Catholic marriages and families were no exception in facing new challenges. Yet, despite the trials, the grace of the sacrament of marriage prevails and sustains families, especially in tough times, speakers said during a virtual retreat sponsored by St. Martin of Tours Parish in Gaithersburg, Maryland.

More than 50 parish couples participated remotely via Zoom on Feb. 13, the eve of St. Valentine’s Day, in “Love Endures All Things,” a bi-lingual event organizers planned to support, encourage and pray for husbands and wives as they experience this unprecedented time in history together. The night of reflection coincided with the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops’ celebration of National Marriage Week (Feb. 7-14), with “To Have, To Hold, To Honor” as its theme this year.

Father David Wells, pastor of St. Martin of Tours Parish, was the celebrant of a livestreamed Mass, which he offered for the intentions of all the participating couples and that began the evening’s online activities. “Heaven is a wedding banquet, and what we do in the Mass, the prayers shed light on how (you) live as married couples,” he said.

In his homily, the priest said the Penitential Act asking for God’s mercy, the Gloria praising God for His gifts, and the Liturgy of the Word where God speaks to us, are akin to spouses seeking forgiveness, expressing gratitude and communicating with one another.

Holy Communion, he said, being the last part of the Mass points to the sacred union of the spouses. “The love and communion expressed must be brought out to the world,” said Father Wells, whose final blessing included a prayer that the virtual retreat couples would be “strengthened, healed and be an evident example of love in the world today.”

Earlier in the day, in spite of icy weather conditions, volunteers delivered more than 50 “ready-to-heat” dinners to the couples’ homes to enjoy during the reflections, which were conducted in both English and Spanish. Participants – who ranged from newlyweds to spouses of more than 50 years - were encouraged to dress up and consider it a “date night.”

In a talk, Carla Ferrando-Bowling, director of the Archdiocese of Washington’s Office of Family Life, and her husband, Shahn, discussed how drastically things changed in March 2020 when the country went into lockdown to stem the spread of the COVID-19 virus. Offering their personal perspective, the couple said some of their own marital challenges during the pandemic stemmed from working from home, financial stress and spiritual struggles.

“The world turned upside down,” said Ferrando-Bowling. “...The pandemic time brought to marriages suffering, stress and unemployment. (As Christ promised) to be with us until the end of the world, we must draw upon those graces of marriage to assist us,” she said.

The couple suggested creating schedules and sticking to them, especially if both spouses are now working remotely from home in order to create a healthy balance between jobs and home life.  They also said the financial stress of the pandemic, job insecurity and the scarcity of some household items in stores all helped them realize the importance of saving money to be prepared for uncertain times.

At the beginning of the pandemic, they said spiritual trials especially increased due to the closing of churches and suspension of Masses. “How could we survive without the Eucharist?” Ferrando-Bowling said the couple asked themselves. Lack of prayer led to short tempers with each other. But when they decided to set aside time each day to pray together – the Divine Mercy Chaplet and the noontime Angelus, harmony was restored.

They recommended starting each day with prayer as a couple, reclaim Sunday as the Lord’s Day, attend Mass together if available, and receive the Sacrament of Penance as often as possible.

“More of God and less of the world, drew us closer to Him,” said Ferrando-Bowling.

Sister Providencia and Sister Mariana of St. Martin of Tours’ Family Life Ministry spoke during the virtual retreat for married couples in the parish. (Screen grab/Andrew Biraj)

Sister Mariana De Jesus of the Dominican Sisters of Our Lady of the Rosary of Fatima and from the Family Life Ministry at St. Martin Parish, led the evening’s second talk. She was joined by Sister Maria Providencia De la Negron, also of the parish’s Family Life Ministry.

Reflecting on 1 Corinthians 13:7, “Love is patient. Love is kind...Love endures all things,” the well-known words of St. Paul and often chosen as a Scripture reading at Catholic weddings, Sister Mariana strongly encouraged the couples to make God the center of their marriage.

She said communication is the key to solving all differences. “It is the same in religious life. Communication must be in every aspect,” she said.

Problems can be overcome, Sister Mariana said, adding, “When you put your marriage in God’s hands, you see everything better.”

The religious sister said she is struck when she sees senior citizen spouses still holding hands and showing their deep love for each other, a love that is eternal. “Value love. Defend love and grow in love,” she said.

Sister Mariana, who grew up one of seven children, said she often looked to the example of her own parents’ long and faithful marriage. “It didn’t mean it was always easy, but they were always there for each other.”  Other practical advice for married couples included, “Take time to talk, help and understand each other. Never go to bed without praying and in anger,” she said. And if it’s not possible to resolve differences right away,” she suggested couples make a resolution, “Tomorrow, we will talk.”

She also thanked the couples for the model of love and perseverance they demonstrate to the world.

In closing, Sister Mariana reminded the spouses to, “Pray to Jesus Christ to assist you and your family, your loved ones and your marriage.”