I recently entered my 49th year as a priest, and I am really looking forward to celebrating 50 years next May. After nearly five decades, I find myself more aware than ever of the importance of being available to those who ask for my help. My pastoral responsibilities fill me with great joy.
My guiding principle throughout my priesthood has been to say “yes” every time I can, and “no” only when I must. We even adopted “say yes” as our mantra at Catholic Charities, and our staff and volunteers do it day in and day out, helping all who come our way.
Since COVID-19 began and as life returns closer to the way it used to be, I have found myself saying “no” more than I would like. Not because I want to, but because I feel I have to.
I am often invited to various receptions, parties and celebrations, which I always enjoy attending. At the same time, I have an unusually full schedule right now as many who delayed receiving sacraments because of the pandemic are now ready to take that next step in their journeys. My brother priests and I have a high number of marriages, funerals and baptisms, and I am forced to make decisions about what I can do and should do amid scheduling conflicts.
Here is one example from my own family. My nephew and his fiancée planned to be married in Charleston, South Carolina, but they had to postpone their wedding three times. They eventually decided not to wait any longer and were married at Our Lady of Mercy in Potomac about one and one-half years ago. It was a wonderful day.
They already had put down the deposit for the planned reception in Charleston, so they decided to go ahead and have a party in April with friends and family. That same weekend, I had two weddings here in Washington. I had to choose between being with my nephew and his bride to celebrate their marriage or staying here in town for two weddings at which I had been specifically asked to preside.
In thinking about what to do, I realized that while I love to party at receptions and celebrate major events in people’s lives, I was not willing to let down two couples who desired the sacrament of marriage in the Church.
I write this on a Saturday morning not long before I will preside at a funeral. The family invited me back to the house afterward, and I would go if I could. In this case, I have another funeral later in the day, so I respectfully declined. The family was disappointed, and I felt a sense of guilt not being able to be with them, but I again realized the sacraments must take priority.
My most important role as a priest is celebrating our faith, sharing the gifts of sacramental grace, and calling down the Holy Spirit upon those receiving the sacraments. This is the gift of the priesthood that Jesus established. I am happy to be a part of gatherings when I can, but my priority has become clearer to me than ever: I need to do whatever I can to make sure those who desire receive the sacraments worthily and with God’s grace.
I do not like saying “no,” but having priorities helps me see that I am actually saying “yes” to something even more important. I invite all of us to think about our priorities and where our faith and the gifts of the sacraments fit in, especially the Eucharist and the Sacrament of Reconciliation, which we can and should receive frequently.
All of us must balance multiple things in our lives as we juggle work and play, family and job, activities (especially if you have younger children) and the practice of our faith. Sometimes, going to a party, ballgame or other social occasion can seem more important in the moment than receiving the very gifts of God’s grace and love. If we are honest with ourselves, it can be a tough choice. After all, being with our friends and family makes us happy.
More often than not, I think the answer might be that we can actually do both if we are willing to make the effort, if we truly make Mass and the sacraments a priority. The “yes” for God and our faith needs to be paramount, and everything else will fall into place.
This summer, I ask you to think about a couple of yesses in your life. First, that we all say “yes” to the Eucharist. COVID-19 wrecked many of our schedules and routines, but I am grateful for the resurgence in Mass attendance and for all those who again come every weekend. I have been lifted up recently by the large numbers of participants at Easter and Pentecost, and I pray that will continue.
The second “yes” is to service. Consider giving of yourself – your time, talent, and treasure – whether it be in your parish or with us at Catholic Charities. We are called to lift up on our shoulders those who are less fortunate, to show them that they are loved by God and by us.
If we do these things, God will be first in our lives, even amid all the activities that fill our days and weeks. Let us rely on faith as our guide and as the fulcrum that keeps us focused on God. Then we can be confident we are saying “yes” to God and doing our best to live as God wants us to.
And isn’t that the most important priority of all?
(Msgr. John Enzler, the president and CEO of Catholic Charities of The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Washington, writes the “Faith in Action” column for the archdiocese’s Catholic Standard and Spanish-language El Pregonero newspapers and websites.)
