I started this month of October at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception attending a Saturday evening Mass dedicated to our commitment as a Church to stand strong and faithful with those who experience domestic violence.

The statistics are shocking. One out of four women (25%) and one out of seven men (14%) have experienced severe physical violence in an intimate relationship. Think about that for a moment. That means there is a high likelihood that multiple people sitting in the pews with you at Mass on Sunday are probably experiencing domestic violence.

October is a month set aside to building awareness of this troubling plague that affects too many people in our society. Unfortunately, it has worsened these last few difficult years as unemployment increased, alcohol and drug use increased, and the world shrunk to the confines of the home.

Domestic violence is not just physical violence. It is actions and words that use fear, intimidation and abuse to control and hurt an intimate partner. The abuse could be emotional, financial, physical or sexual. As the statistics show, it is not just men abusing women. That is more prevalent, but men are also victims of abuse.

I think it is important that we all become more aware of how widespread domestic violence is, and the options that are available to victims. This violence often takes place in secret and behind closed doors, so it can be happening in our churches, schools, workplace and even our own families with little or no awareness on our part.

We at Catholic Charities have strong programs in place to help victims of domestic violence, and we still faced a very sad situation with one of our own three years ago. Dilcia Rodriguez started working in our main offices before moving over to work at one of our shelters. From all outward appearances, she was a wonderful young woman with lots of joy and happiness in her life.

That was not the case at home, and after years of enduring abuse out of fear and for the sake of her children, she eventually decided to leave her husband. She told one of her best friends, and then she told her husband of her decision. She was murdered that night by her husband, who then drove away from the house and took his own life.

I am struck that even at Catholic Charities, with counselors all around, behavioral health specialists filling our team, priests and sisters and others trying to help with this issue, we still lost someone very special to us, another victim in this plague in our society.

We should also be aware that domestic violence happens everywhere. It is not just in poorer neighborhoods, as some might think. I have seen this firsthand, having been in several parishes where affluence was more the rule than the exception. I remember one instance of a woman calling and telling me that her husband had locked her out of their house, and another situation in a different parish in which the husband took all his wife’s credit cards, slashed her tires and left.

In addition to building awareness, we also want to make clear that the Church stands strongly with anyone who is abused. The Church does not expect any woman or man to stay in an abusive marriage in which they are not being treated with the dignity, respect and love that God expects. We always support the sanctity of marriage, but domestic violence certainly raises the question whether it is a valid sacramental union.

Code of Cannon Law 1153 states: “A spouse who occasions grave danger of soul or body to the other or to the children, or otherwise makes the common life unduly difficult, provides the other spouse with a reason to leave, either by a decree of the local Ordinary or, if there is danger in delay, even on his or her own authority.”

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse or would like to speak to someone about it, I have a couple of resources for you. First, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit the website at www.thehotline.org. You can also talk to your priest to help you in a difficult and potentially dangerous situation.

Second, we have a section on the Catholic Charities’ website with very helpful information such as what to do if you need help, what to do if you know someone who needs help, the Catholic teaching and response to domestic violence, and more. You can find it at www.catholiccharitiesdc.org/familypeace.

Let us pray for an end to domestic abuse, and that the Church can make a difference. We have a wonderful priest advisory team that helps guide our efforts to preach and speak about this important issue. We will continue to increase awareness throughout the year but with a particular emphasis here in October when we think about those around us who may face abuse and family struggles.

(Msgr. John Enzler, the president and CEO of Catholic Charities of The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Washington, writes the “Faith in Action” column for the archdiocese’s Catholic Standard newspaper and website and for the archdiocese’s Spanish-language El Pregonero newspaper and website.)